I Love Love

I was sitting at a Starbucks today doing some work. A couple sat down next to me and I could feel the love between them. She leaned in and touched his leg and his arm. She had her back to me so I could not see her face but I am sure she was smiling the entire time she spoke to him. He was very attentive and was looking into her eyes as he spoke to her. They were sharing funny stories, throwing their heads back as they laughed. It was amazing to see them, they were magic.

I am not sure how long they have been together. It did not seem like a new relationship but either way they were wonderful. I remember being like them. Watching them actually made me transport back in time. Those were amazing and happy days, I sure miss those days. For some of us, life gets in the way and those gazing in the eyes, touching and caressing every moment possible, the inside jokes, the easiness… it fades. It happens slowly, it can be hard to notice, then, before you know it things are different. Things feel differently but it is hard to pin point why. And because you don’t know why things have changed it is hard to know how to fix it and make things better again.

I think people can take for granted that love, like everything else in life, requires work. In kindergarten my daughter learned about her love bucket. When I made her sad or mad she would tell me I was empting her bucket. When I gave her hugs and kisses I filled her bucket. Adults fill and empty each other’s love buckets all the time. We stop holding hands and start sleeping with backs turned. We stop complementing and start pointing out flaws. Stop laughing with each other and start yelling at one another. We let love go and let the silly issues rot away at what once was strong and beautiful.

It is painful to remember what once was. It is even harder to accept that a love is lost because you did not put in the work that it needed. You have to water a flower to help it grow. A spinning wheel does not a base make. The ceramic is not going to mold itself, you have to work it, attention to detail and the right kind of touch will create the base. I look at marriages that have lasted 40, 50, 60 years and I wonder what their secret to love is. I pray for them and that they continue in their bliss and working through the hard times. Marriage is not always easy, but how we handle it determines the ultimate outcome.

I said a silent prayer for the couple I saw today. I hope they bring out that glow on each other for the rest of their lives. I hope that they feel that excitement to be together, that joy to share space and time, and that they will turn to each other no matter what life throws their way. I wish that for everyone, a love that stands the test of time. Epic love that romance novels are made of. Here is to love that grows and lasts!