This Book is Not Going to Write Itself

I have always wanted to write a book. I believe I first thought about it when I was around 24. That was my first time doing a presentation at a conference. This particular conference was geared towards Latinas and my presentation was titled Self-Esteem as a Key to Success. Personally, I had fought a battle with self-esteem and I decided to create this presentation because I wanted to help other women who may find themselves in a similar position. I recall after the presentation was over a young woman, maybe 19 years old, came up to me and said, “I think I have low self-esteem” and she started crying. I spoke to her for a few minutes and tried to give her advice. Throughout the years, I think about that young woman and I hope she finds herself in a better place today. This is one of the experiences that made me want to do more and it made me think about writing a book.

I never wrote the book on self-esteem or any other for that matter. I recall my sorority sister giving me journals and books on writing for my 30^th birthday. She wanted to support me but I was not committed. I did not know where to start in the process of writing, how to organize my book, what did I really want to say, etc. Currently, I have a folder on my computer title writing. I have a few book ideas and a short story I just completed in October that I had been working on for over a year. I have written quite a few opinion pieces mainly for people that I know, but not a wider public. The opinion writing is very short and very targeted so other than the intended audience I have not done much with them.

I struggle between writing something with more substance like a self-help book or writing non-fiction. I like storytelling but I am not as good as I thought. I felt my short story was very simple and it lacked depth and the complexity necessary to be a good short story. There are certainly some high moments in the story but I need to continue to work on it. Ultimately, I want to be seen as a serious academic type but I also love romance novels. I do not see room for doing both so I have to choose a lane and I am not very good at that.  

I have done a few writing challenges, that is what I am doing this month and the reason why I started this blog. It has been a bit of a challenge writing at least 500 words at day. The first few days it felt easy, however, the last couple of days have been harder, and definitely a stretch. To be honest, I am not sure how writing 500 words a day on whatever topic comes to mind is supposed to help me with the overall writing process. I can’t say that I have experienced an aha moment thought these exercise. I have enjoyed writing some of the blogs and I felt that they were well written (for my style of communication at least). But, the opinion pieces are not enough. I need to make time to revisit the notes that I have and book ideas in order to see what I could work on and perhaps focus on short stories for right now before jumping into writing a book.